say yes...

Yesterday I arrived home at 6:30 pm.  On my way home my husband called and suggested we go eat dinner with our boys at college about 70 minutes away. I immediately thought something was wrong, as the kids had just left home to go back the day before.  It had been a beautiful spring day unlike the weather over the weekend, but I was inside working all day.I had daydreamed out the window a couple of times, thinking how wonderful it would be to bask in its glory. As soon as I got home, we hopped in the convertible with the top down and took off.  It was so relaxing letting the day blow away. I asked my husband why he decided to go, he told me "I just want to see the boys because I didn't get to see them this weekend as much as I wanted". Normally I might had gripped and complained when he suggested after a long day of work we take a long drive, but I thought why not.  What a wonderful way to end a Monday, just by saying yes. The dinner, the company and the drive was great. I was able to enjoy that beautiful day despite having to work. We didn't get home until 10:00 and I slept great. Normal Monday night sleep is usually quite restless. What a great change!  So next time you want to say no, evaluate the question and consider saying yes!!

its a start.......again

Friday I went to weigh in with my sister in law at weight watchers.  4 lbs. I wanted it to be more, I stuck to the plan and walked everyday but one.  I have tried hard not to be disappointed, but it seems like such a drop in the bucket.  I know it took me years to get here, I just want it to leave in a couple of months. Crazy, I know, but that is still the way I feel. But this is about the journey to get where I want to be, so I will journey and journal on. I hope next week goes better.  I know every journey starts with a single step, I would just like to have bigger feet.

Size 97 now that's what I'm talking about!!

Somethings bound to go wrong cause I feeling way too damn good...

Today was a good day. No major problems. My mother had cataract surgery, and she did great.  We had a peer review at work and it went well. My maintenance guys went to a training, and enjoyed it. Life was good.....and bad.  The old feeling we all often get that somethings about to go wrong, because things can't be that good. The truth of the matter, there are usually good and bad things happening to us all the time on a daily basis.  It usually depends on which one we are giving more attention to. Yes, I had a good day, but if I wanted to think about it hard enough,I would remember that I have 3 people in my life that are battling cancer actively right now, and it doesn't get much worse than that. As the saying goes, we are the makers of our own destiny, so it stands to reason that on a smaller scale we are the makers of the days that compile that destiny. So today, I choose to look at it as a good day, and push the bad to the back burner to lead the way on another day. The choice is ours to make on a daily basis, and we might have more better days if we conscientiously choose to predispose ourselves to the positive. This might help us to enjoy the good, everyday and find the strength to deal with the bad. The yin and yang is ever present in our daily lives and that will never change, the only real change possible is how we face the cards we are dealt, with balance, good and bad, letting neither consume us. And if the scale tips to one side or the other, let us remember tomorrow will bring us a new day to balance and life is always best handled somewhere in the middle.

                                                                  We balance the scale

Late night

Just got home from work....Long day, 13 hours...... I will check in with you tomorrow when I have enough sense to write something worth reading!

Mean people suck......

No matter how old I get, my opinion will not change, mean people suck. Some people have refined being mean to an art, an ugly art. They live each day in search of the perfect victim. Someone they can attack that will give them the satisfaction they seek, the reaction that gives them control. The philosophy they have is simple, I make you feel bad so I can feel better.  The smaller I make you become the bigger I will appear. No matter how well we know these type of people or how often we encounter them, their words can cut like a knife, and bingo, they have hit the jackpot and your upset is their coveted pot of gold. You may ask why I am rambling on about this?
I was the victim, today, yet again. Someone quite miserable, struck pay dirt with me. Why did the attack of words hit the target with me?  Because I care about the person, even though they don't want me to.  I want to help them, and do nice things for them, and I want them to appreciate the sacrifice I make to help them, that is the reward I seek. Thus, the black hole, no matter how much we want to do for other people, some where deep inside of us we want them to appreciate it, even if they never say it, we need to feel they do, it motivates us to continue. When they express to us in a mean and hurtful way, it test our resolve as to why we help.  We need to experience the emotions that the hurt creates, so we can pick ourselves up on the other side and continue to do what we can to help others....especially the mean ones. For me, that means I need to vent, and then work through it on my own, and when the sun rises tomorrow, so will my forgive and forget persona. I hope that I can always hold onto that, and never become the thing that is so upsetting, the mean person. What is the old saying "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" Here's to not killing kindness, only making it stronger. 

Three points under..

Today was the first official day for me on Weight Watchers, and I am ending the day 3 points under my allotment.  Now I have been half halfheartedly doing Weight Watchers on line since January, without a lot of success.  The difference today is I signed up to attend weekly meetings and weigh ins. Now you may ask yourself, why would that make a difference?  The answer....who wants to be a failure in front of others?  Not me. Being accountable to someone besides your self can be quite motivating.  No matter how much we think it doesn't matter, the truth of the matter is, it does. The bottom line is we can be competing for anything, and we will strive on some level to be successful. Competition is normal, natural and for the most part can be rewarding, whether or not we win or lose. Why? Because it challenges us to rise to the occasion and be the best we can be. And at the end of the day there is great self satisfaction in knowing you did the best you could in whatever you attempt. What could feel better than that......well maybe if I shed a few pounds in the process, that will be the cherry on top.

                                              I think I should definitely skip the cupcake