Dear Victoria

Who of us has not heard of Dear Abby or Ann, where people write in for advise on their problems.  I have been a giver of advice for many years.  I actually put a lot of effort and thought into viewing the situation from both sides of the fence to give the best advice possible.  But as the old saying goes "the shoemakers kids have no shoes", I tend to give advice but seldom ever heed it to myself.  Why is it so easy to help others but not ourselves?  That is probably an age old question, that scholars will debate until the end of time.  Maybe its as simple as its better to give than receive, even if we are the recipients of our own gift of taking care of ourselves.  That is probably where the  old saying comes from "we are our own worst enemy".  Which is absolutely true, until we decide we are willing to take care of  and help ourselves.  Society gives us so many conflicting analogies of how to live our lives, do for others, not ourselves, but take care of yourself, so you are able to take care of others.  We often times find it hard to do both.  People who take care of themselves in all aspects of life are often considered self centered and uncaring to the world around them. People who take care of others and not themselves are considered selfless saints who neglect themselves.  How do we find a balance between being self centered and selfless.  How do we find a way to take care of ourselves and our problems while helping others?  Most times just doing one or the other is consuming and exhausting.  That is because society tells us to do the best we can, its all or nothing.  I think our salvation lays somewhere between all and nothing, just with something.  What does that mean?  That doing something for others and something for yourself, is the answer.  It does not have to be the alpha and the omega, just somewhere in the middle.  Can we actually condition ourselves to be OK with the middle?  I sure hope so, because I think that the answer to fix my problems is somewhere in the middle of here and there.