What exactly do I need to say to myself, what will be the pregame talk that works. I wish I knew. I think the bottom line is its time to face facts, I'm overweight and not just by a few pounds. There is not a magic pill or bogus diet that is going to work. Sheer willpower to do what I have to is the only thing that is going to work. I question if I have that for myself. There are many things I have been able to do for my family that has been hard.That is because I was doing it for them, or my love for them. I read an article today about a women that had a brain anabolism and lived. She described how the near death experience changed her life. I read the story wishing I could have had such an experience that would make doing the right thing for myself easy. The truth of the matter is I did have a near death experience. At 42 I had a heart attack. The doctors told me, had I not realized I was having a heart attack, my next one would have been certain death, my heart would have exploded. That should have scared me straight so to speak, but it didn't. Two stints later and 12 pills a day,it makes me wonder, what the hell is wrong with me? I have so much fight for others and none for myself. I want to be able to get pass that and find myself worth the fight. I need to do this and I am running out of time.
Tomorrow, I am really going to try to make an honest effort to help myself. The only person who can fight this fight is me and the only person who can save me is me. That scares the hell out of me.If only it were as easy as saving someone else.......say a pray for me to be strong. Till tomorrow
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